i picked up my pieces so i could help pick up yours. but then, you’re not worth it. for me to risk getting cut by your shattered pieces, that was a forgone hope that you can put to rest. that’s it, that’s all to it.

The truth is, we hide so we can be found. We walk away to see who will follow. We cry to see who will wipe away our tears. And we let our hearts get broken to see who will come and fix them.

As the dream passes through me, I feel more pain than before, Just an intrusion of the joy and peace I once had I was fooled – and now, I must win my will back to live to be myself once again

every breath i take is tiring. acting in front of people is tiring. acting in school is tiring. acting in class is tiring. i hate acting like i am fine, like i am normal. nothing is normal, nothing is fine. no one knows anything. my stomach hurts, my mind is wandering, my mood is fluctuating. the only thing keeping me sane, is my conscience and probably my willpower. people can come and talk to me about pain and how much their lives suck. then everyone thinks i’m dissing them when i don’t show concern or take interest. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but now, i don’t fucking care. your life sucks? come swap with me. end of story. this world is fucked up, it’s time i fuck this world back in place.

my pain is everlasting. if i take another wrong step and fall, i won’t be able to get up ever. there ain’t anyone to be able to pick me up too. i’ll walk all the days of my life, in trepidation and fear.

expectations are bad. never lift your spirits high enough, cos maybe things would just be crushed all the same, and the pain magnifies.

living a life of regret, well some things are beyond my control too. bah, just one more shit, i’ll give everything up. my limit brings me up to here.

sometimes i just wonder, are the sacrifices that i have made worth it?

somehow, i feel that my heart weighs a ton.

the greatest irony in my life, is that i am able to help everyone out, but just not myself.

maybe i should have treasured it in the first place, and not abuse it. till the day comes where my world becomes darkness, i’ll be fine. it feels weird. my eyes better not let me down.

okay, feel like dying. my body decides to screw up on me today, woke up, felt light-headed and all. now have some massive headache or some shit, coupled with body aches. nice. wonderful life. maybe i’ll be better after some rest.

and there are some things which i can never sleep away. although i hide it every single time, it haunts me when i’m alone.

good night bloggie. i love you. this feeling in me, i can’t express it. pray that i sleep k. i have a feeling i won’t be able to. i’m so tired, i just can’t describe how tired i am.

when will the truth ever dawn upon me, i wonder. maybe, the truth will set me free. i hope. i pray. i beg.

see you tmr bloggie.

argh crap, ear hole pain and i need a new phone. stupid phone is like dying on me i think. and my ear hole hurts damn bad .

from now on, i’ll cook my own food. seriously hate brown rice. i shall live on a ramen diet.

with no one to turn to, i just seek solace in myself. this is also why i spell solace backwards. it’s just me and my reflection. i really am lost. Lord please guide me, sorry for being a fucker, turning to You only when i need You, but i really need strength now.

sorry that my faith has wavered.